somebody snuck up and got me drunk
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
