I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
