Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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