very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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