You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize