rhymes with "ouble enetration"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
