You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
