We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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