We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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