You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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