Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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