You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
