the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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