u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize