WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
