This girl is more easily done than said...
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
