This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
