Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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