best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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