suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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