im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
