Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry wofootball hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(917): View more from New York City

your thong is hanging out like whoa

Fav 2 3013 1576
share tweet
(816): View more from Missouri

I really want to fuck my wifes sister.

Fav 42 1438 4706
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(517): View more from Michigan

the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.

Fav 14 3238 2077
share tweet
(360): View more from Washington

Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.

(253): View more from Washington

you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.

Fav 3 2951 1440
share tweet
(228): View more from Mississippi

Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.

Fav 7 1946 983
share tweet
(480): View more from Arizona

So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.

Fav 2 813 531
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(617): View more from Massachusetts

A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...

Fav 4 1460 775
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(605): View more from South Dakota

i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..

Fav 1 46 23
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(253): View more from Washington

I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.

Fav 0 38 1
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT