It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
