If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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