Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
