He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
