No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
