i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
