it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize