Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(315): View more from New York

he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate

Fav 24 1174 5359
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(817): View more from Texas

He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"

Fav 18 4220 1365
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(760): View more from California

Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.

Fav 9 2811 1072
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(423): View more from Tennessee

Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick

Fav 21 1773 2422
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(972): View more from Texas

The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard

(972): View more from Texas

OHHH and there was a Batman too.

Fav 13 1661 879
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(217): View more from Illinois

Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you

Fav 9 1475 1140
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(612): View more from Minnesota

i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.

Fav 6 1517 759
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.

Fav 1 196 111
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(703): View more from Virginia

She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.

Fav 0 27 73
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