Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
This girl is more easily done than said...
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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