your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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