Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
