this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
