Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize