I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
