I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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