Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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