Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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