just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize
