last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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