Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize