we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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