i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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