mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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