There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
