and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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