I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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