So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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