Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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