Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Randomize
