i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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