In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
