i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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