When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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