Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
