talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize