I'm so fucking centered right now
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
