haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
