the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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